the vynsane asylum

this movie is going to kick so much ass it will hurt for days!!!

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pict ... einmexico/

the trailer is here. holy crap, it looks cool. i loved desperado! and salma hayek is so hot.

I've always said Desperado was the first good Punisher movie. That movie is totally Frank Castle south of the border.

Salma Hayek had sumptious boobietitties in the first..er...second film (body double or not). All covered in that oily faux sweat. I'd totally have have Salma Hayek come over and clean my house all naked and sweaty like that every day. It's almost enough to forgive the director for gratuitious Antonio Banderas skin.

Hopefully Rodriguez will reverse the trend of suckdom that he started exactly halfway through From Dusk til Dawn and has yet to recover from with all those SpyKid movies.

hehe... bump

(til i figure out how to merge <s>threads</s> topics...)

(gulping air)


(gulping air)


(gulping air)


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<font size="6"><b>BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPP!</b></font id="size6">


(juicy after burp)

Yum.

Duuuuuude, I saw this movie yesterday and it was so damn cool I ran out and bought a guitar and ran around town whomping people upside the head with it. Then I went to the set of the latest Schwarzenegger campaign ad and kicked him in his teeny-weenie nuts.

this movie rocked so much!!! depp was awesome, and "el" was as cool as ever. i was a little dissapointed by the lack of salma hayek, but what she was in, she was soooo hot...

so, i've come upon a theory after watching this movie twice...


el mariachi is a fuckin' NINJA!!!

he's a mammal (cuz he reproduced with salma hayek...)

he fights ALL the time.

his purpose IS to flip out and kill people.

he wails on guitar... HARD!

he chops off heads all the time (or at least blows them off with his crazy tiny shotgun...)

when the "mexi-CAN" said he was going to collect the bounty on his head, he was quoted as saying "then i guess i have no choice but to kill you all..."

if that's not proof, i don't know what the fuck is!

He wears only black. . . .

He rarely speaks, so he is somewhat silent. . . .

Yep, you're onto something.

For getting second billing, Salma was hardly in it. Which sucked, especially since she was all over the trailers...and where were her juicy south of the border mangos this time around? I feel less screen time should be made up for with more Salma melons (body double or not). And if not her, then plenty of Eva Mendes skin, since shes hot also.

I couldn't figure out the part with the guy that looked like a younger Willem Dafoe at the beginning. Obviously he was going to be a double for Barillo, but was Barillo also the General that killed El's wife? It was all very confusing and at one point I thought Eva might be the daughter, because they seemed to be setting that up ( she wasn't in the shots of the dead Carolina)but the guy at the beginning never really came into play again. Very confusing. Also, Enrique looks twelve years old.

the guy at the beginning was the guy that ended up on the operating table with his face off - he had similar bone structure, so they hoped he would pass for a dead barillo. general marquez killed carolina and their daughter, he was being used as barillo's weapon against the el presidente... eva was barillo's daughter...

and i think enrique was supposed to be a grown-up version of the kid "el" teaches to play guitar in "desperado." but that's just a theory...

I thought the flashback with El and Carolina escaping was a nice homage to El Mariachi with the bus and all. I got a chuckle out of that. What's up with the entire army of gun fighting trick guitar cases el mariachis that seem to be running around Mexico? One I can buy, but between the three movies there've been dozens ( well, five, but you get the point). Crazy.

And in the last two, he brings in his two buddies, who conceal rocket launchers and flamethrowers. Just enjoy it. Don't question it.

I also wondered if Enrique was the same kid. And I missed the Robert Rodriguez cameo.

Im having to wait until the DVD comes out - which sucks. And watch that first Spy Kids movie again, it's fucking hilarious - and retains a lot of the cool Rodriquez-isms (slow mo walking, Banderas' close ups, a hot girl (the mom is blazing), fairly fast paced action, and an amazing cast of baddies). Trust me. Okay, maybe get all pissed up and then watch it. You'll like it.

[goldenshovel]

I was talking with someone the other day about how I HATE sequels that are clearly made to cash in, and throw out what happened in the first movie to either go some new direction or try to completely rehash the first. Like how MIB2 apparently ignores the fact that Kay returned to a normal life, believing he'd been in a coma, and Linda Fiorentino had taken his place. Where the fuck was she in the sequel? Or Short Circuit 2, which has this misguided plot about the Indian guy trying to become a citizen, never minding he said in the first that his family was from Pittsburgh. Shanghai Knights might be the worst of all--in an attempt to completely rehash the chemistry of the first, it tosses out both female leads (Owen Wilson's Cheyenne (?) wife and Empress Lucy "I was still uberhot then" Liu), since both guys were tied down at the end, and it completely ignores the ending that revealed Owen Wilson is really Wyatt Earp, but tries to sorta recapture it with a shitty subplot about a kid who turns out to be Charlie Chaplin. God damn, thinking of that movie makes my nuts retract.

Why do I bring it up here? Because Once Upon a Time in Mexico came up as an example of how they should do it. Rodriguez didn't want to make a movie about El Mariachi tied down, raising kids. Honestly, who'd want to see such a movie? But he didn't totally toss out Salma Hayek. Looking at the advance info, you think she's going to be a major player again, and it's not until you see the movie that you realize she's in it for like thirty seconds, all of it flashback. So, even though it kinda rehashed the other two movies in a way (El running around shooting people) and went in a new direction, it's more than redeemed by the way they sorta acknowledged it was changing the status quo back to pre-Salma and kept this hidden remarkably well.

Kudos to Robert Rodriguez. The man is an ass-kicking machine.

[/goldenshovel]

To this day, I still haven't seen "El Mariachi" or "Desperado", even though I saw "Once Upon A Time in Mexico" long ago.