the vynsane asylum

i put that shit on everything.

the next morning, my shit burns like everything.

I heard that you had poured a little into Mrs. Cester A Aurthur's vagina to spice up your sex life and the results weren't pretty.

The burn of Frank's coming out is so worth the awesomeness of Frank's going in.

Though, truth be told, I find that I usually prefer Texas Pete.

Then again, I consider myself in dire straits if I don't have a decent supply of Texas Pete, Frank's, Sriracha, Tapatio, chipotle Tabasco, and something with habanero.

Much like bootscooting, a Texas Pete is now a sex term. I just decided. Again, the definition is up to someone else.

It is a term for something so awesome, it cannot be put into words, but only experienced in the heat of the moment. A little sweet, a little hot, a little salty, and very, very wet.