the vynsane asylum

I was just watching "Bram Stoker's Dracula" and Keanu's faux-British accent makes me want to peel my face off. Discuss.

oh my god, my brother and i always quote the "it's the man himself. he's grown young." line ALL the time. freakin' hysterical.

My friends in college came up with a rule: If watching any movie with Keanu, you must add "Dude" to the end of every line he has.

vynsane wrote:oh my god, my brother and i always quote the "it's the man himself. he's grown young." line ALL the time. freakin' hysterical.

Oh my God. Believe it or not, that's the line that made me create this thread.

i'm not surprised, though that's really funny!

my favorite Keanu quote is from the Matrix when he says, "I know kung fu."

homeboy, no you don't. you don't know shit.

i heard a rumor that "Keanu" is Mandarin for "empty skull." is that true?

"Bum Cake" is actually Bavarian for "uteral divinity."

He's not good, but I thought his inability to portray any emotion whatsoever lent itself perfectly to his portrayal of Neo. Everything else I've seen has sucked (except for Point Break, but he may have sucked in it - I can't recall).

jjreason wrote:Everything else I've seen has sucked (except for Point Break, but he may have sucked in it - I can't recall).

"I! AM AN F! B! I! AGENT!"

Ring any bells?

Yeah, but I didn't think it was bad, since the scene gave me a boner, eh?

Fuck all y'all haters, Canoe is a great actor, just a jizztastic thespian.

Happiness is being in Bavaria.

I thought Keanu did a pretty good job in The Devil's Advocate, but yeah, he is pretty bad.

I liked TDA, it was a fun flick.

I saw Reeves in Parenthood again the other day on HBO or something. I loved that movie as a kid.

UKWildcat wrote:I thought Keanu did a pretty good job in The Devil's Advocate, but yeah, he is pretty bad.

are you freakin' serious? that ridiculous triple-take he does when the child-molester he's defending is pretending to finger her and shit? just awful!

vynsane wrote:

UKWildcat wrote:I thought Keanu did a pretty good job in The Devil's Advocate, but yeah, he is pretty bad.

are you freakin' serious? that ridiculous triple-take he does when the child-molester he's defending is pretending to finger her and shit? just awful!

Well, it has been a little while since I have seen the movie, but yeah, I was serious. I think it is one of his better efforts anyways. Or maybe I just liked the movie and Pacino and Theron.

Sleazer wrote:I saw Reeves in Parenthood again the other day on HBO or something. I loved that movie as a kid.

You know, I have to correct myself a little bit. Keanu Reeves isn't so bad when he's playing some jackass Valley teen (see the "Bill and Ted" movies and "Parenthood" for further reference), but his role in "Parenthood" would have been forgettable if not for that line "You know, you need a license to drive and fish, but they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."