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Miami, FLA (AP) - Amidst the rumors and allegations surrounding the death of Forum regular Eternal Padawan, authorities have discovered a ten year old video tape that allegedly shows the deceased in a hot and nasty three (make that four) way with the Creel Triplets, stars of the made for television Parent Trap sequels in the late 80's.
Miami police detective, Carlos Jiminez was reported saying "We've passed this thing around the office over and over and over and over again. Those are some of the sluttiest bitches I have ever seen. They were taking it every which way and begging for more. That dude was one lucky fuck. Too bad he's dead now." Initial reports say that the eldest of the Creel sisters, Joy, really loved the taste of cock, and enjoyed performing fellatio on the victim, until he blew his gooey load all over her face. The other two sisters, Monica and Leanna were also limber and gagging for it, but not like Joy.
Joy Creel, besides being known for her acting career, is also the wife of famous 501 Jeans commercial actor, Rob Liefeld. Liefeld also fancies himself some sort of comic book artist, but research failed to come up with anything resembling art from him. When questioned about the discovery of the sexually graphic video of another man laying pipe in his woman, and her squealing in delight, Liefeld had no comment, but offered a coupon for "I'll Pay Any Man That Kills That Fuck #0" availible in the back of any Awesome Comic Issue.
When asked about the video, Joy, Monica, and Leanna just sighed contentedly, as if reminscing about some great thing that happened to them. Joy also mentioned she had told her impotent husband about the tape while they were having an argument a few weeks ago. "Rob was mad about some guy named Rags challenging him to a drawing contest. I told him he drew about as good as he fucked." said Joy in an exclusive interview with this reporter "and when he got all defensive about the sex, I told him about the rampaging cock fiesta my sisters and I had been privy to, and that he was a total letdown in the sack. And that after 20 years he should be able to draw fucking feet by now."
Authorities are currently looking for Mr. Liefeld in connection to the murder earlier this month. "We just want to ask him a few questions," said vynsane.com investigator Diabolical "Like how the fuck has he been working in the businees for twenty years when his art sucks the way it does? Oh, and did he kill EP? We'll ask him that, too..."
