This just in!!

[Newsbot]

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Senor JabbaJohnL sucks cock.

Trisha Tokinawa is live on the scene, but we don't have much information yet.

More on this top story as it develops.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

Hey Newsfag! Fuck you and your Family Guy Asian reporter!

[Newsbot]

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CORRECTION:

Early reports indicate it was Senor JabbaJohnL sucking cock. That information has been disproven, and it is now known that it is, in fact, Double_G sucking cock.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

While probably not true, at least I'm out of the public spotlight.

[Double_G]

Fuck you, Newsbot. Fuck you and your faggoty Dan Rather Terminator avatar.

Oh, and this just in:

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Newsbot will die a friendless virgin.

[Seamus ODoyle]

Oh, and this just in:

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Newsbot will die a friendless virgin.

Saint's be praised!! Tis good news indeed! Oi'll buy everyone a round o' Guiness down t'the pub ter celebrate! Newsbot, yuir nae but a wee friendless douchebag now!!