Return Of The King

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 6:11 am

Well, I tried downloading the trailer today and all I got was the sound. It sounded nice anyway...

Lord of the Rings kicks major ass in d major! It's like having a presidential forum where all the candidates take turns kicking each other in the cluster with steel toed work boots, while a thousand secret service ninjas wail on a thousand guitars.

Fellowship of the Ring kicks so much ass it's like getting spanked for eternity with the world's largest cheese grater. And The Two Towers is like getting railroad spikes nailed into your ass cheeks.

Discuss the awesomeness of the LOTR trilogy and why G.Lu sucks on elephant balls for losing the coolest trilogy ever mantle.I mean the guy had it in his pocket and he just pulled it out and handed it to PJ by being a senile, dick mongering tool.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Sep 30, 2003 5:02 pm

Yeah LOTR is a great trilogy. I dunno if it beats the OT. Lucas could have done better with the PT. I dunno if you have TTT on DVD but they have a ROTK preview on there. It kicks ass.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Mon Oct 13, 2003 3:38 pm

Whoohoo! Finally saw the trailer as it was meant to be seen ( on the bigscreen) in front of Kill Bill Vol I.

To say that this film will merely kick ass does not do justice to the sheer amount of boot-keister connecting that will take place this December. It's as if all the Nazis and Allied forces had dropped their guns and resorted to boots in WWII. This is gonna kick THAT MUCH ASS.

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Oct 14, 2003 9:28 am

Yeah, I agree wholeheartedly.... LOTR is a fuckin great series to be sure.... and you know what's the funny part??? All those types who do the "androids dungeon" thing with it.. "It failed as afilm because tom bombadil wasn't in it.. I will not watch the rest of it" and all that crap... anyone who can't admit that the original books were stodgy and overwritten needs a dodge ram driven into their rectum, then needs to be driven across the US as a hood ornament.. then they would prolly recant...
SW the OT was great, but LOTR is, admittedly, fucking outrageously awesome... I hope ROTK is as good as or better than FOTR, as TTT was a bit weaker (tho it's hard to judge accurately, seeing FOTR for the first time was almost WAY too heavy, one was kinda used to it by TTT)

Nother "pet peeve"... self appointed "experts" who tell others that "you can't say it's the SW of our generation, Harry Potter deserves that accolade" Bull fuckin SHIT.... I HATE hearing that.... Specially non-SW fanatics... I mean, WE of all people would know a "Star Wars" if we saw it... folks like us are why SW was (and sorta is) in the first place.... Harry Potter just seems way too "whimsical" to be so big.... and if HP is the "big thing" now, does that mean "R.L. stine" was the GL of 1996??? How stupid...... LOTR- possibly the greatest films EVER... hell, they would kick most films' ass with the sound down

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Oct 14, 2003 1:50 pm

Harry Potter could probably kick Frodo's ass. Frodo doesn't have cool spells.

But Gandalf would whomp Dumbledore good.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 1:36 am

I don't think there's been a SW for this generation, since that was a "movies made as movies" saga, and both HP and LOTR are book adaptations. if somebody can come up with a wholly fresh idea for a film series, THAT will be the SW of "our generation" (whatever the hell our generation implies, I'm a big fan of all three series. Does that make me multi generational?)

I was watching TTT the other day (duh. extended edition. Can we say immersed in TTT DVD?) and while I didn't appreciate it in the theatre as much as FOTR, I like it just as much now. They are two different beasts and while TTT has the advantage of not having to set up the main characters, it has to develop new ones, including the most difficult and complex character; Gollum/Smeagol. And it's disadvantaged by being the second act. here's my favorite scene in the film: I actually got verklempt when Theoden and Aragorn ride out of Helm's Deep ( to their deaths, in their minds) and then you see Gandalf ride up over the crest and says "Theodon King stands alone." and then Eomer rides up next to him and says "Not alone." Then the Rohirrim shows up behind him. WHOA. I guess I was projecting myself onto the besieged Gondorians below. They just fought a hopeless battle all night and it's about curtains for the few that remain and then to see your salvation in the dawnlight. Overwhelming.

12 hours to go!!!

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 10:50 am

That movie sucked monkey balls. I thought the rat bastards were putting Tom Bombadillo's scene in ROTK. Fuckin' ripoff.

Just kidding. Ain't seen it yet.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 11:37 am

One hour to go! I'd kick MYSELF in the balls with excitement if I could just turn my leg the other way. I guess I'll have to settle for punching your mom in the tit.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 7:03 pm

That.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 7:04 pm

Post by **vynsane** » Wed Dec 17, 2003 9:38 pm

holy crap holy crap holy crap...

that was awesome. i don't even know what to say. holy crap.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 9:26 am

AWESOME!

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Thu Dec 18, 2003 8:18 pm

Yep, a good fitting end to a great story. There were detractions in my mind, maybe more than the other two movies worth as well BUT it was awesome.

They paralleled the book here very nicely. The only major point left out was the demise of Saruman, which Im sure will have to be on the extended version. All in all, I think this series will go down as one of the crowning achievements in cinema. The computer program that they used to make those battles (the sweeping shots where 400 million things look like they're all acting independently) is fucking mental.

How cool were the archers of the Haradrim? LOTR Ninjas, each and every one.

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Sun Dec 21, 2003 8:24 am

The best scene was when the Rohirrim showed up at dawn to save the beseiged Gondorian's bacon. AWESOME.

Another cool scene was when Eomer turned and faced down the charging AT-A...er...oliphaunt and shivved the driver with his lance. AWESOME.

And what about Shelob sneaking around above Frodo? Creepy! And AWESOME!

And finally, when the stout hearted are surrounded my BILLIONS of orcs at the end and Aragorn turns to Gandalf and whispers "For Frodo..." before basically resigning every last man, dwarf, elf, and hobbit to certain death. That was AWESOME. I was so overwhelmed with emotion by this film. I wish I owned a movie theatre and prints of thes films so I could just watch them over and over on a 40 ft tall screen...

If I could sum up this saga with one word...

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sun Dec 21, 2003 2:18 pm

"IT STILL ONLY COUNTS AS ONE!!!!!!!!"

Pissing my pants......