the vynsane asylum

Being serious here, though it's hard not to joke.

Y'know how some celebrities have this weird cult status online, like Chuck Norris or Mr T?

We should begin a grassroots campaign to get Kris Kristofferson some sort of weird cult status.

Kris once walked across the United States in one night. No piss breaks, no food, no water. North Carolina to SanDiego. One night.









True Story.

Kris once lassoed the moon for his mother on mothers day

Once Kris had a hankering for French Toast, so he had 100 Hot French Maids flown over on the Concorde. Fucked every last one of them to work up an appetite, then had them make him the toast and take turns blowing him while he enjoyed breakfast.





True Story.

This one seriously is a true story.

Kris wanted to get a recording contract, so he got a job with Columbia Records as a janitor. He got to meet Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan, but couldn't get a break as a songwriter.

Years later, to get Cash's attention and convince him to record one of his songs, he landed a helicopter in Cash's yard. Cash recorded the song, "Sunday Morning Coming Down," and it hit #1.

He's smoked weed with Willie, played Whistler in Blade, and fucked Barbra Streisand so none of the rest of us would have to.

When the true shit is that crazy, you don't have to make stuff up.

Kris was once stranded on an island 2000 miles from civilization with 32 women. He impregnated them all and then swam to the nearest doctors office so he could help them deliver the babies safely.



True story

anarky wrote:Being serious here, though it's hard not to joke.

Y'know how some celebrities have this weird cult status online, like Chuck Norris or Mr T?

We should begin a grassroots campaign to get Kris Kristofferson some sort of weird cult status.

Does he have a myspace page yet? If not, we should jump on it.

Kris Kristofferson invented the semi -truck.

he wrote the song "me and bobby magee".

no one was every ballsy enough to ask him about his relationship with bobby.

true story.

Kris invented the flying car. He declared the world wasn't ready and destroyed it along with the blueprints.

Ray Nagin wasn't convinced there should be a Mardi Gras this past year. Kris called him up and promised him a good time would be had by all. He even brought a semi truck packed full of topless girls.

When doing the voice of the character Ned in the videogame GUN, Kris demanded to be shot by an arrow, a rifle, and hit with an axe to make sure everything sounded authentic.