the vynsane asylum

My wife has a DVD of a film called Eat Drink Man Woman. Here's the cover:



As you can see, it has three hot Chinese women on the cover. Okay, two hot Chinese women and one above-average.

The review that you probably can't make out on the bottom part of the cover says: "It's hard to tell where sex stops and food begins. ****! Electric!"

Now, with the women on the cover, and that review, you'd think there'd be at least one fucking titty in the movie! You'd be wrong. Nothing. Now, these characters do indeed (it's implied) have sex, but no more than in the average 30-minute sitcom, and not even that graphic.

What a fucking letdown.

It's actually a pretty good movie. After all, it's by Ang Lee, and the guy does not direct any movies that are even so bad as to be average. (If you didn't like Hulk, you can suck my motherfucking dick, you tasteless cunt, so shut the fuck up and don't say anything, you fucking snigtard.)

But, goddamn, after I saw that cover, I expected some hot Chinese women fucking their way through the entire movie.

Well, technically, would you know a Chinese tit when you saw it? Dem girls aren't known for their voluptuousness.

And dude, there are SO MANY Asian pornos out there, you can't really be mad at this one for not being one of them. Granted, the blurb on the front is misleading, but they'll say anything to get you to watch the movie. It's not Ang Lee's fault.

I ain't blaming Ang, but someone fucked up. It'd be like releasing Spider-Man on DVD with a new cover of Mary Jane in the rain, and the caption, "A sex-filled romp through the seedy underbelly of New York's modeling culture."

Why, oh why, did the movie about fucking gay cowboys include more nudity than the one about young Asian women?

Yeah, there's lots out there, but I can't get Mrs Anarky to watch them (or to knowingly let me watch). If there was even one good sex scene in there, I'd be guaranteed some . But, no, it's a movie about family, so it put her to sleep.

Perhaps that street goes both ways?

"Oops, honey. I thought this was a dramatic, girly talk flick. I didn't know these pert, nubile young college girls would be bathing each other and exploring their budding sexuality with scented oils and molded latex instruments...."







"...but now we have to finish it to see how the movie ends!"

Hey, that Gay Cowboy movie had Ella Enchanted's boobybosoms in it! Ain't that worth the price of admission (and the price of having to watch Poo Pirates sail the shitty seas)?

jjreason wrote:Hey, that Gay Cowboy movie had Ella Enchanted's boobybosoms in it!

ya gotta love it when someone ropes in a hot chick like that with the promise of "artistic integrity"...

Ain't that worth the price of admission (and the price of having to watch Poo Pirates sail the shitty seas)?

almost... but it definitely WASN'T worth suffering through heath ledger's bad impression of jack palance suffering from a stroke, however...