So did you pull up your pants, risking the mile long hershey stain, or did you just kind of waddle like a penguin with your pants around your knees, hoping that no one would see you?
For the record, I've never needed an enema. Over the past week, I've really only let loose one good solid bowl monster, the rest have been skirting the line between soft serve and liquid shit. I've been shitting so much, my bombay doors are starting to get raw from all the wiping. I don't know if I had the flu or food poisioning.
BM
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<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Rogue II</i>
<br />So did you pull up your pants, risking the mile long hershey stain, or did you just kind of waddle like a penguin with your pants around your knees, hoping that no one would see you?<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">It seemed the whole fucking family picked that moment to convene in the kitchen, so I just had to kinda do the "penguin walk" there and back. It didn't spread too much, but it was alot nastier than it had to be.
<br />So did you pull up your pants, risking the mile long hershey stain, or did you just kind of waddle like a penguin with your pants around your knees, hoping that no one would see you?<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></font id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">It seemed the whole fucking family picked that moment to convene in the kitchen, so I just had to kinda do the "penguin walk" there and back. It didn't spread too much, but it was alot nastier than it had to be.
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Diabolical
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Diabolical
- (includes alternate sneering hissy fit head sculpt)
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- Location: Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc.
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Slicker
- I HAVE THE POWER!!!
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Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
I broke my all time cardinal rule tonight. I had to shit so bad that I crapped at work. I hate pooping in public places (but dont' we all hate that?). I felt like fucking Finch from American Pie, I was struggling to hold it in while I put toilet paper down on the seat. When I finally sat down all it took was a little release of the ass muscles and it flowed like water. About mid-way through it all a big ass solid lump of shit came bursting out and splashed all that shitty water all over my ass. After that is was more liquidy goodness. I think I went through about half a roll of damn toilet paper with that one.
Damn I hate Taco Bell.
I broke my all time cardinal rule tonight. I had to shit so bad that I crapped at work. I hate pooping in public places (but dont' we all hate that?). I felt like fucking Finch from American Pie, I was struggling to hold it in while I put toilet paper down on the seat. When I finally sat down all it took was a little release of the ass muscles and it flowed like water. About mid-way through it all a big ass solid lump of shit came bursting out and splashed all that shitty water all over my ass. After that is was more liquidy goodness. I think I went through about half a roll of damn toilet paper with that one.
Damn I hate Taco Bell.
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Diabolical
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Have you ever woke yourself up because you thought you shit yourself? Me either.
Until 1:21 last night.
In retrospect, it was only one of those farts that feels like you're passing a cinder block. But at the time, I woke up with a start and actually thrust my pelvis into the air (I was laying on my back) and clenched my butt cheeks because I didn't want it to smear all over my ass. I then sloooooooowly proceeded to the bathroom (keeping my ass as parallel to the floor as possible to prevent the phantom turd from going down the leg(s) of my pajamas) to look for the offending turd. Nothing in the pants and a quick wipe of the ass proved that I was, thank God, wrong. The funniest part? I laughed while I was sitting on the toilet, knowing the sick joy you fucks would have hearing my tale of adventure.
Until 1:21 last night.
In retrospect, it was only one of those farts that feels like you're passing a cinder block. But at the time, I woke up with a start and actually thrust my pelvis into the air (I was laying on my back) and clenched my butt cheeks because I didn't want it to smear all over my ass. I then sloooooooowly proceeded to the bathroom (keeping my ass as parallel to the floor as possible to prevent the phantom turd from going down the leg(s) of my pajamas) to look for the offending turd. Nothing in the pants and a quick wipe of the ass proved that I was, thank God, wrong. The funniest part? I laughed while I was sitting on the toilet, knowing the sick joy you fucks would have hearing my tale of adventure.
