the vynsane asylum

Back on topic, you cocksmokers.

To answer your question, Rogue II, no, Eric is not responsible for the yellowing of the POTF2 Commtech Stormtrooper. He wasn't working with us then. The guy responsible is Shakes the Janitor, who also jacked off into the white paint. He eventually retired because of Hepatitis B.


Question: Why did you guys create an all-new sculpt for your Marvel Legends Mary Jane figure:



when you had a perfectly good Kirsten Dunst head sculpt lying around?

QOTD to Double Guns for the Zutton reference.

Jeez.

Dumbass. That figure was meant to be your mom. We mixed up some of our source material. That's also why the Han from the Jabba's Palace diorama looks like Lyle Lovett, General Veers and the Rebel Honor Guard both look like Quentin Tarantino, Riekkan and Zev both look like John Kerry, and the latest Padme looks like Christopher Lambert.

Hasbro, why are you marketing the Superhero Squad as a kids' line, when inclusions like the ghey Capisher and World War Hulk characters are so inappropriate for kiddies?

We will determine what is appropriate for your kids. That is why we will not only make Capisher and World War Hulk, but follow up with Joe Camel, the Maloboro Man, Ron Jeremy, and a Catholic Priest in the Superhero Squad line.

What's in store as far as Ewoks in 2008?

We'll be repainting the Wicket mold five more times, since we know you guys love it so much.

Moff Jerjerrod and General Rieekan are still pegwarming like fuck, even though they came out two years ago. Are you gonna do something about it or just claim that they're your top sellers?

They are our top sellers.

I saw some of the Snake Eyes vs Storm Shadow comic packs today. About six of them. I didn't count, but it looked like six. Note that I didn't say I saw the other two comic packs that should be available. (You know, the two that don't have characters we've already got three different ways, and will be getting at least once more in a future comic pack.) This looks like a pegwarming problem already to me. What are you going to do to correct it.

They are our top sellers.

So, am I ever going to see wave 7.5 and the McQuarrie Rebel Trooper with the coins, or will I have wasted my time trying to complete the album?

We know how much you kids love the hunt, so we only released twelve cases total of Wave 7.5. If you can't find them, we suggest eBay. Especially the guys who have the AFA graded ones.

Why are we getting all this EU Hoth stuff, when we still don't have the goddamned Yarna?

They are our top sellers.

Dear Hasbro, given the "top seller" status of the SW Choppers, why is it that we haven't gotten any more characters for this wildly popular line?

Uh, um, they are our top sellers.

[Read the above in your best Spinal Tap voice, a la "Uh, this one goes to eleven."]

Any chance in hell of us ever getting some goddamned Nelvaans? The Nelvaan Anakin is useless without anything to display him with.

Nelvaans? Aren't they part of the Lord of the Rings line? We don't make those. Why don't you go buy a Darth Vader or a Tatooine Luke instead.

What's with those crappy keychains on TAC cards? You don't really expect anyone to buy those, do you?

I don't think we made those. Did we make those? Who the fuck knows. So quit complaining about shit we probably didn't even make.

Another Ilum Padmé, when there are so, so many costumes yet to be made from the films? Really?

You fanboys should've thought of that three years ago when you wouldn't stop bitching about getting one. We're going to show you to ask us for figures: we're resculpting that bitch every year from here on out! And you're getting no more movie Padme figures!

Why is it that so many Battlepacks that would be great for army-building (Felucia, Mygeeto, Tantive IV, Endor, etc) all have one figure that we already have, and that we don't want multiples of (Aayla, Ki-Adi, Vader, etc)? Do you honestly not realize that you could sell multiples of these to individual collectors if these characters weren't included, whereas now you're lucky to sell one per person?

True, but then where in the hell is some kid going to get his Darth Vader figure?

Will there be much more stupid Force Unleashed shit like the Battle Rancor? For the first time, I'm seriously thinking about not getting something from this line.

Wait until you see the Ewoks in Clonetrooper Armor with the two AT-RT disguised as one Bantha! That'll change your mind.

Why are you re-releasing all three of the old Evolutions sets before shipping the new ones? You do know they're destined to shelfwarm and keep stores from ordering new ones, right? Or is this all part of your devious plan to show us the sales figures that reflect low store orders for the actual new product, and say that justifies re-releasing everything else instead of producing cool new stuff?