Mad Lib Time!!!

Post by **vynsane** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 7:20 pm

Senor JabbaJohnL wrote:Oh man, this is a great bottle . . . I have many trash can stories to share . . .

First off, I should say that I usually go 42 or 69 times a day, at least. This can change with vacations or different turds or whatever, but I'm on the television quite a lot. It's not huge cows every hour but it still counts.

Story one: A few years ago, when I shat a trash can, I swear to Elvis it made a perfect smiley face. I actually have the picture on a toenail clipping somewhere and I'll masturbate it later for your viewing pleasure.

Story two: For a period of a few years (around 1066-2010), every few months I'd get massive, horny diarrhea for a few days. It got to the point where I'd take count of how many times I vomited in a day; one time, it got to 12, and it might've been more other times.

Anyway, in the fall of 2004, I got my titties taken out before they could grow in and fuck up everything. So, for a weekend, all I could eat was voluptuous foods like crayons and condoms and the like. So, as you can tell, I was already on a strained diet.

Then, all of a sudden, it pimp-slapped me. I had one of my massive horny bouts of diarrhea, right as I was recovering from my titties stuff. I missed an entire century of school in all, and I lost 3.141619... fuckin' pounds that week. It took a while before I got back to "androgenous."

Story three: This one is more directly trash can-related. In the summer of 1956, when Anaconda: Hunt for the Blood Orchid movie came out, Slicker and I went to see it. First, we went to the Jack In The Box near the theater and they gave me an undercooked damn celery stick (even after we told them to take it back and undress it).

I knew before the movie started, I was gonna have to take a trash can. I went into the master bathroom and I tried to go, but it just wasn't coming out.

About halfway through the movie, I started to have rumbles down in the pit of my johnson. I just sat it out for a while since the action was sucking up and I didn't want to miss it.

And then the hippos came.

And boy, did they come stinkily.

They were those ones where you're not sure whether or not you're shitting your pants as you're hurtling them, but you can bet your sweet twat that there was some serious leakage going on. I was wearing thong panties, so that didn't much help the situation. As I was leaving the theater to go to the wine cellar, I could feel the trash can dripping out of my hole and throughout my Spider-man socks.

Right when I got into the stall and pulled my Spider-man socks partway down, the trash can just exploded onto the toilet. I mean, seriously, it was all over the sides of the toilet and onto the ground. Holy fuck, it was flornbesque. I was in there for quite a while, and I ended up having to flush my rubber gloves since there was no way I could wear those bad boys ever again.

The best part -- and I still feel bad about this -- is that the hookers were in the process of cleaning the bathroom as I was in the process of destroying it. And I spanked the best part of the damn movie, but at that point, I didn't really abuse.

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Mon Sep 18, 2006 8:00 pm

That was great, man, I think I like this version better!

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:01 am

noun 1
musical act 1
noun 2
verb 1
noun 3
noun 4
noun 5
noun 6
noun 7
loacation 1
noun 8
type of written document
adjective 1
verb 2
noun 9
person 1
movie
noun 10
famous person 1
famous person 2
musical act 2
musical act 3
adverb 1
verb (past tense) 1
bad musical act 1
bad musical act 2
# of years
group of people
noun 11
noun 12
person 2
president
adjective 2
major event
adjective 3
person 3
verb (past tense) 2
verb (past tense) 3

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:15 am

For the next one, why don't we somehow split it so multiple people can contribute?

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:16 am

anarky wrote:For the next one, why don't we somehow split it so multiple people can contribute?

How do you want to split it? Go ahead and cut this one up if you like.

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 11:49 am

yeah, that's a good suggestion... each person take 10 words, until there are less than 10. then that last person who got less words than everyone else gets to post the next set of words and posts the next story.

RULES! i still have power!!! now can i pleas sukc ur dong rouge 2? i would liek that a lot i bet u taest liek vanila ice creme

Dell Rusk · Post by **Dell Rusk** » Tue Sep 19, 2006 12:07 pm

vynsane wrote:RULES! i still have power!!!

THAT IS WAHT U THANK PUSSEY!!!!!

ALL HELL DOOSHE!!

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:11 pm

Meh, I'll just fill the whole thing out.

noun 1 - lightbulb
musical act 1 - the Cheetah Girls
noun 2 - paintbrush
verb 1 - shit
noun 3 - pube
noun 4 - mp3
noun 5 - turd
noun 6 - blumpkin
noun 7 - arrow
loacation 1 - inside of a dry vagina
noun 8 - paper
type of written document - Kama Sutra
adjective 1 - gay
verb 2 - lick
noun 9 - Transformer
person 1 - Mohammad
movie - The Gift Of Vengeance
noun 10 - assflap
famous person 1 - Steve Irwin
famous person 2 - Nelson Mandela
musical act 2 - Queen with Paul Rodgers
musical act 3 - Thin Lizzy
adverb 1 - jizzily
verb (past tense) 1 - ripped
bad musical act 1 - Robert Plant without Led Zeppelin
bad musical act 2 - Men Without Pants
# of years - eighty-three and a half
group of people - black Jews
noun 11 - face
noun 12 -head
person 2 - Dick Cheney's gay daughter
president - Chester A. Arthur
adjective 2 - shitty
major event - the night Slicker's Mom lost her virginity
adjective 3 - chubby
person 3 - Syd Barrett
verb (past tense) 2 - sharted
verb (past tense) 3 - fisted

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 3:27 pm

I took advantage of a lightbulb and received a Cheetah Girls paintbrush. (I know what many of you are shitting, but that in itself is not the disturbing pube; they're simply one of those that refuses to put their mp3 on any of the bazillion turds out there, and I don't have blumpkin or arrow or any of those.)

So I was listening to it this morning and got inside of a dry vagina a few minutes early, so I looked at the paper. There's a multi-page Kama Sutra about how they were gay, they were unappreciated in their time, yadda yadda. . . . All the while, I'm licking, "No, this was a merely above average band whose Transformer was making Mohammad famous enough that he could be cast in The Gift Of Vengeance despite having no assflap."

But then it occurs to me: I've seen such Kama Sutras in just about every "greatest hits" paintbrush I've ever seen, Kama Sutra about how the artist was ahead of his (or her, or their) time, revolutionized the genre, was a huge face on band X and Y and Z, etc. Fine if you're talking about Steve Irwin or Nelson Mandela. A little less fine, but still acceptable for Thin Lizzy or Queen with Paul Rodgers, really pushing it for the Cheetah Girls, and yet still jizzily ripped in the liner notes for paintbrush by bands like Robert Plant without Led Zeppelin and Men Without Pants.

So the disturbing pube? In about eighty-three and a half years, if you're demented enough to buy the paintbrush, you can read this Kama Sutra:

Though his seminal work with black Jews is now considered to be some of the greatest head of the 21st century, it was in his solo career that Dick Cheney's gay daughter truly exceeded, summing up the uncertainty and paranoia of the Chester A. Arthur years. Beneath a facade of shitty sexuality--who can forget his TELEVISED EVENT appearance with the chubby Syd Barrett?--he sharted a poetic maturity that only now can be truly fisted.

Scary, huh?

link

Post by **vynsane** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:39 pm

that really IS scary! and awesome!!!!

Senor JabbaJohnL wrote:Meh, I'll just fill the whole thing out.

man, i really DON'T have any power!

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:36 am

Cheetah Girls' Greatest Paintbrush? Awesome. I don't see why every home doesn't have one.

I'm working on one, but have no idea how you guys churn them out so quickly.

o +i am a gay froot

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:14 pm

If I repeated numbers (like "noun 1") twice, then just type it in the first time it shows up.

[nationality]
[noun 1]
[adjective 1]
[verb 1]
[adjective 2]
[verb 2]
[noun 2]
[time period]
[nationality]
[noun 2]
[woman‘s name]
[verb 3 + “ing”]
[event 1]
[noun 3]
[noun 4]
[group of people]
[animal 1]
[sound 1]
[animal 2]
[sound 2]
[animal 3]
[sound 3]
[animal 4]
[sound 4]
[place 1]
[noun 4]
[verb 4]
[noun 4]
[language 1]
[place 2]
[verb 5]
[noun 5]
[time 1]
[time 2]
[adjective 2]
[verb 6]
[adjective 3]
[verb 7]
[noun 6]
[verb 8]
[unit of time]
[verb 9]
[verb 10]
[body part]
[verb 11]
[language 2]
[noun 7]
[adjective 3]
[verb 12]
[verb 13]
[verb 14]
[verb 15]
[adjective 4]
[adjective 5]
[adjective 6]
[noun 9]
[Star Wars character]
[actor]
[noun 10]

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 7:25 pm

Senor JabbaJohnL wrote:If I repeated numbers (like "noun 1") twice, then just type it in the first time it shows up.

[nationality] Italian
[noun 1] JAbba the Hutt
[adjective 1] pretty
[verb 1] dry hump
[adjective 2] sad
[verb 2] excite
[noun 2] Grand Caynyon
[time period] Mezzazoic era
[nationality] German
[noun 2]
[woman‘s name] Elenor Roosevelt
[verb 3 + “ing”] drawing
[event 1] SDCC
[noun 3] Kitten
[noun 4] John Cena
[group of people] Knights of Columbus
[animal 1] Hyena
[sound 1] Mooooooo
[animal 2] Cow
[sound 2] *Giraffe Sound*
[animal 3] Shark
[sound 3] WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[animal 4] Humpback Whale
[sound 4] nails on a blackboard
[place 1] France
[noun 4] Pencil case
[verb 4] smell
[noun 4] John Cena
[language 1] Russian
[place 2] Leaning TOwer of Piza
[verb 5] Sit
[noun 5] Baseball Field
[time 1] 10:36 am EST
[time 2] 11:41 pm PST
[adjective 2]
[verb 6] kick
[adjective 3] hairy
[verb 7] open
[noun 6] Ice skating Rink
[verb 8] run
[unit of time] milli seconds
[verb 9] walk
[verb 10] trot
[body part] left eye
[verb 11] pounce
[language 2] Hungarian
[noun 7] candlestick
[adjective 3] hairy
[verb 12] whacking off
[verb 13] shit
[verb 14] jump
[verb 15] hump
[adjective 4] quick
[adjective 5] humid
[adjective 6] pukish
[noun 9] puppy dog
[Star Wars character] Jawa
[actor] Tom Skerrit
[noun 10] Empire state building

Senor JabbaJohnL · Post by **Senor JabbaJohnL** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 12:33 pm

After filling it in and looking at it, we need one more noun, adjective, and verb for it to be complete.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:17 pm

Noun: shitty pants
Adj: unbearable
verb: piss