the vynsane asylum

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:34 pm

I just had a not bad shit - I'm rating it higher than it likely deserves as a result of my mid-shit suspicion that I was going to need a roll of TP to deal with the mess. It was one of those long ones, but it felt too skinny or something, like my anus was actually peeling it like a banana on the way out. Of course, I suspected that there'd be a massive amount of faeces to wipe away. Well, luckily enough I only had to do the standard 2 wipe procedure (2 separate mittfulls of TP, not out of the ordinary for this cat) and I was good to go. Best part? The shit-stained paper bunny tails fell on separate sides of the log, allowing me to admire my handiwork as it went down the drain. All's well that ends well I say.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 11:27 pm

I had some floaters yesterday afternoon...well, they floated for a minute (just long enough to remind me that I had corn the night before) then sank to the bottom.

Slicker · Post by **Slicker** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 7:33 am

If you guys already don't you should invest in baby wipes. I've used them for some time now and they work wonders. You'd be surprised what normal dry paper doesn't get.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Mon Mar 06, 2006 8:57 am

Thats because you have the strained cabbage shits you fucker. Go lick Dells asshole clean for him.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Mar 07, 2006 10:55 am

Ever have one of those shits that come out solid, but when you flush, the explode into a brown cloud? Then after the flush, there are still some dookie crumbs floating in the bottom.

Dell Rusk · Post by **Dell Rusk** » Tue Mar 07, 2006 3:24 pm

i forgot to wipe my butt this morning and i was sitting in class and the teacher said p u what stinks and i realized i had doodiee on my butt! lol

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Mar 07, 2006 5:04 pm

I know someone that wants to talk to you. You two should have a fun time.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:08 pm

Get the feeling that Dell rides the short bus to school?

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Tue Mar 07, 2006 7:07 pm

Yes, while wearing a hockey helmet and holding his lunch with both hands.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Wed Mar 08, 2006 1:21 pm

Since I've been eating fast food for the better part of two weeks now (I'm kinda the poor man's Morgan Spurlock), my shits are more frequent and mushy. I figured they'd have the oily film on the water, too, but not yet. I'll keep you updated.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Wed Mar 08, 2006 3:08 pm

The room I'm staying in has wireless internet. If I brew one up tonight, I'll give you guys play by play posts while I sit on the can. Then again, I'm sure that I won't be the first person on this board to post while sitting on the shitter.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Thu Mar 09, 2006 3:06 am

I wish I had a laptop so I could do that.

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 12:33 am

You'd wreck the fucking thing, KH. Laptops don't work in the shower.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:20 am

I took a dump today that filled up the entire hole where it all flushes today and then some. I think I let out 10lbs of crap.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Fri Mar 10, 2006 10:25 am

I had one similar to that last nite. It all collected in the hole and formed one gigantic super turd ("Wonder Twins powers activate! Form of: Gigantic Super Turd!"). The motherfucker was SOLID! It would not go down the fuckin' hole. I eventually had to break it up with the toilet brush, which afterwards looked like I'd been combing a melting chocolate bunny's hair with it.

BM