should i stay or should i go?

[Double_G]

Welcome aboard, Zaphod. I have to ask, are you really located in Chester A. Arthur's asshole?

[The Grin]

robin, do you really want the answer? the real answer, and not the "naked pictures of your mom" answer?

Just so you know, The Grip and I do all of the "naked pictures of your mom" answers around here (except it usually isn't pictures). I won't go into details right now, but it puts a grin on your mom's face.

Look at my sig line. I treated these guys' moms so well, they gave me an award.

[Zaphod]

sorry the grin. i didn't mean to step on your toes. just like my mom probably didn't mean to step on your tallywhacker. actually she did mean to, so its totally different.

[The Grip]

Ah, zees was not totaillay intentionail on your mere's part. Zee Green, he hangs low. Your mothair, she was climbingk on zee top undt stepped on hees crotch by zee meestake. When Zee Green he ran to zee bathroom to throw up from zee pain she caused, she was, how you say? Beesaide hairself. She was cryingk so hard for she felt so bad, Ah had to steeck mah pena en her mouth, undt Ah had climaxed three tahmes before she stopped apologizing to Zee Green and just focused on the flavor of Zee Greep, ho ho ho ho!

But no worry, Zee Green, he is fahne.

[Batman]

I must concur with Robin. If you would be so kind as to let us know how you found... our site, it would help the Moderator Terror Squad greatly in their Bat-Marketing endeavors.

[Zaphod]

alright, alright, but its not as weird as i originally made out. i was trying to find info on that chinese photo of antelopes and the train that was faked to see if there was a dead giveaway. a thread here under announcements was the first thing that popped up. and since i brought it up, why would it be a squirrel yelling weeeeee about gonads and strife? i'm sure there's an explanation if i look hard enough here, but just tell me or i'll insult you.

[Ran]

I thought it was in the Weeee!!! thread, but I don't see it. I think one of these is the link.

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/weeee

or

http://www.cafepress.com/threebrain.4963757

[Zaphod]

you guys are nucking futs. that video is almost as cool as the one about the robot in the girl's asscrack. there might've been more to it, but that chick was hot. the only thing that could top that would be a robot in between her boobs. or maybe splicing in footage of janet reno slamming her cock in a car door.

[B. Sagdiyev]

Hello Zaphod. It is verah nice to meet. Your name is not Jewish? Enjoy this site, which is best site in US and A!

[The Tick]

You know gang, when you're a superhero, you never know where the day will take you. You may find yourself halfway around the world, in the shark infested waters of true-to-life living... or you may find yourself going down to the store for a lozenge. You can't know, can you? No! You've got to ride that wave! You've got to suck that lozenge! 'Cause if you don't - who will?

[Zaphod]

please tell me you boned american maid.

[Sam I Am]

Ratchet isn't the R-word to Grimlock
His r-word infers unwanted cock.

Have you ever watched the Blues Brothers?
Have you watched it unlike certain others?
Will you watch it here or there?
Will you watch it anywhere?

The Tick never boned American Maid
That dumb bastard has never been laid.

[Uatu the Watcher]

can anyone give me the cliffs notes of what is going on with all these weird cartoon characters? are there people who just register cartoon characters for some reason?

It would be my pleasure.

Or maybe The Watcher will get off his lazy ass and answer you.

Fuck you.

Zaphod, what follows is the least you need to know:

In the beginning, there was vynsane. He started a website. The website was cool. A small handful of people came by to shoot the shit. But then it all went to hell. Many, many posts were lost, and it was blamed on the Romulan owners of his web-hosting program. (In reality, the Romulans were agents of Action Online, a nefarious group which would become important later.)

vynsane rebuilt his forum, but it was immediately overrun by mentally-deficient kids from New Zealand called the Cobhamites. To combat their stupidity, he hired the original Moderator Terror Squad (Dr Doom, Green Hulk, Cobra Commander, Yoda, and Grimlock). They expelled the Cobhamites and, for a while, order returned. Well, except for the insanely stupid Snigtad Flornbi. A mysterious entity known as Doctor Douche, who looked like Dr Doom but had googly eyes and was obsessed with feminine hygiene, instigated his "nefarious but indistinct" plans for domination. Snigtad Flornbi, as the first Herald of Douche (or, as he spelled it, "Harold of Dooshe") began to hype up a quasi-mythical event called "Douche Day," where supposedly Doctor Douche would seize control of the forum. Instead, following a masterpiece of poetic expression called "The Night Be Fore Dooshe Day," Snigtad Flornbi was killed by Dr Doom, who was sick of banning him repeatedly.

A vaguely familiar idiot calling himself Dell Rusk registered on Douche Day. Then some time later vynsane upgraded his forum software, and things got really screwy.

Action Online, under the leadership of the evil Bizarro JediTricks, launched their scheme for domination. Grimlock was secretly implanted with a cerebro-shell, which controlled his actions and made him lash out at existing forumites and ban stalwarts such as mabudon and anarky. The Moderator Terror Squad received free tickets to a cruise, and, following Grimlock's screwed-up judgment, appointed Dell Rusk as the interim moderator. The MTS enjoyed their cruise at first, but were attacked somewhere in the middle of nowhere and stranded on a desert island, where they were humiliated by Jeff Probst, the mortal foe of Alex Trebek. Except for Grimlock, who was rebuilt into a radio.

Are you even reading this anymore?

Dell wasted no time, declaring he was the clone of Snigtad Flornbi. However, the ghost of Snigtad Flornbi appeared, and Doctor Douche said several times that his nefarious but indistinct plans to regenerate Snigtad had been thwarted by Action Online. Bizarro JediTricks and the Romulans wreaked havoc across the board, until a new Moderator Terror Squad (Zod, Batman, Robin, Optimus Prime, Bob Ross, Richard Simmons, and John Madden) appeared to take control from him. Optimus Prime was killed in the ensuing battle, and Batman revealed Dell Rusk to not be a clone of Snigtad Flornbi, but English child actor Rupert Grint. (Grint subsequently became a Bible-thumping born again Christian and shares the Dell Rusk username with another idiotic kid claiming to be the real Dell Rusk, although this totally contradicts everything that came before.) Editor-in-chief Joe Quesada commissioned Rob Liefeld, who had recently found the site and was not happy with numerous slams against him, to finish writing the story, which he did by returning the original moderators (including Grimlock, in a new Ford Mustang body) to the forums in a massive dance party. Then, in a blatant ripoff of the Simpsons character Poochy, Doctor Douche died in an anticlimactic plot twist, but not before returning Snigtad Flornbi to life. His parents and Uncle Rodger were apparently too stupid to notice.

For a time, things seemed as normal as they get around here, aside from Grimlock's claim that he was sexually assaulted at the mall by Snigtad--a claim he later retconned when he inexplicably became a Tyrannosaurus rex again. An influx of cartoon characters, animals, and humans brought new life to the forum. One of these was a seemingly harmless idiot named Perpantor, who looked a lot like Serpentor, but was purple, and kept blabbering on about how great purple was and how he would avenge Doctor Douche, who was apparently his brother. Perpantor wrested control of the forum from vynsane, changing everything to purple, before he dropped his wallet and his ID revealed him to be Louie the Lilac, perhaps the most retarded villain from the 1960s Batman TV show. Batman whipped his butt. Or something. To be honest, I'm not even sure anymore.

vynsane and Dr Doom decided that an additional moderator was needed. A heated race was run among several contenders, with Alex Trebek and The Grin being the frontrunners, though this hasn't been wrapped up and we think the powers that be simply forgot it. The Grin was pissed when geriatric geezer Autobot was once referred to as an interrim moderator, though this appears to have been in error. Since then, Jack the Ripper struck, killing several forumites in a rampage that ultimately led nowhere.

The Eternal Padawan was shot by DeckardSmith, a mysterious internet demon, and killed, returning in a Superman ripoff in the shared form of Rollo Red and Rollo Blue. Other Rollos, perhaps from alternate dimensions, have occasionally appeared as well. Somehow Zero was involved, but I don't fucking care anymore. I think this was after Newsbot, the mysterious cyborg reporter from the future, reformatted himself from a Dan Rather body to a young Katie Couric body. But who the hell knows? Maybe it was before.

And now Twiki and Newsbot are bitching about the Douche Cyberwar, and I fucking hope there's not another epic crossover in the works. Especially since both claim that someone calling himself Doctor Douche will be involved. Obviously it won't be the real Doctor Douche, as people can't come back from the dead, but anyone calling himself that is going to be a real pain in the ass.

Bottom line--just go with it. Don't try to actually make sense or your head will explode. All you need to know is that Rogue II is a fucking asshole and a liar who shoots puppies.

[Zaphod]

uh, what? i stopped reading after the first few sentences and opened another window to find some porn. it was good porn, lots of asian school girls in their little plaid skirts and looking all innocent while they're getting fucked like crack whores.

[Rollo Tomassi]

I on the other hand, did not know half of that stuff, so it summed up this place quite well. Except that I'm half of Eternal Padawan returned from the dead?? The fuck?!?