the vynsane asylum

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 5:18 pm

Look at the views count. There has been over 110 views of this topic since I posted yesterday. Maybe we are about to be invaded by turd burglars.

Post by **vynsane** » Tue Feb 20, 2007 8:07 pm

it is a strange amount of views - by the same token, most topics have a bunch more views than posts. really weird...

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:45 pm

I dropped a greasy yellow brown concoction this morning that looked like an archipellago of islands complete with atolls floating on the surface.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:54 pm

I had one this morning, I could tell it was gonna be a messy wipe. It even felt like it was messy when I wiped it. And yet, the TP was relatively clean.

When I stood up, I noticed that it had been a messy wipe, after all, but somehow the shit had been flung off the TP and ended up on the toilet seat! Thank God I didn't sit back down in it!!

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 1:58 pm

Saints be praised to whatever person designed toilets out of easy wipe off porcelain.

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:00 pm

Also, every so often I like to do one of two things:

1) Go into the bathroom when others are at the house, and make all sorts of groans and screams, as if I'm dying. Then come out, and say, "Man, I must've just lost 15 pounds!"

2) After coming out of the bathroom, describing the poop in detail to my wife. She hates it. For some reason, adding a mention of a "caramel stripe effect" makes it worse.

Antropov · Post by **Antropov** » Wed Feb 28, 2007 2:25 pm

I've got a deuce on deck right now. Its one of those that wants to come out so bad I have to arch my back and hold my breath so it doesn't spurt. I'm kinda torn right now: I HATE HATE HATE shitting in public restrooms, but that would mean holding it until 7:00 when I get out of class.

Ran · Post by **Ran** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:19 am

Did I tell you I had corn for dinner last night?

mabudon · Post by **mabudon** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 10:46 am

Ahh, sorry I missed the tale of Cappy and the adventurous brown turtle- how'd it finally work out man??

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 1:53 pm

I have been having some explosive shits lately. TNT from the bum can be deadly on porcelain

anarky · Post by **anarky** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 2:05 pm

My daughter is teething, and she's apparently one of those who gets diarrhea when she's doing so.

She's filling entire diapers full of slushy brown goo. It's impossible to clean her without getting it on something, be it the bathtub, the changing table, her clothes, your hands....

Worse, she's pushing hard to get it out. And when the smells hits you, she's not done. We rush to change her almost overflowing diaper, and inevitably, more will come out. And, since she's pushing so hard, she's pissing all over everything once the diaper opens, too.

This is not a phase I hope to last.

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 2:19 pm

One of those proud parenthood moments huh?

Eternal Padawan · Post by **Eternal Padawan** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:37 pm

I'm eating lunch while reading about anarky's slushy brown adventures.

Do you wipe forwards or backwards? Or alternating?

kidhuman · Post by **kidhuman** » Tue Mar 20, 2007 3:59 pm

I let a bomb go a bit ago and the turd stuck to the side and it looked like a slug

jjreason · Post by **jjreason** » Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:18 am

I had meatball lasagna for lunch yesterday at a buffet we visited while at work. It was tasty, and smelled great.

This part might not sound believable, but I assure you it's true.

The poop I just had smelled exactly like the lasagna. I'm not kidding - had you been blindfolded and taken a smell comparison test between my shit and a plate of meatball lasagna it would have been tough to tell the difference.

BM