Few historical mysteries have caused more heated debate than the identity of the neighbor called only "that dum kid" in Snigtad Flornbi's original "Realley important storey!"
As most people know, the neighbor boy stayed with Snigtad overnight when his parents were babysitting. The boy was quite annoying, and, in the climax of the story, Snigtad enters the kitchen to find "that dum kid" tossing his dad's salad.
Theories surrounding the identity of "that dum kid" abound. For years, most have speculated that it was an inane insult geared toward mabudon or Kidhuman. More outlandish theories have also gained notoriety, including "that dum kid" being an advance scout for an alien invasion, or even famed writer John Grisham.
But verifiable facts about "that dum kid" aside from the brief description provided by Flornbi have been nonexistent.
Until now.
Applying the latest in scientific procedures, Professor Seymour Buttz of the Duke University School of Fucktard Studies believes that modern science is remarkably close to finally discerning the identity of "that dum kid."
"We've been using a lot of techniques--carbon dating, DNA analysis, and the like--that simply wasn't available at the time that the Realley Important Storey was written.
"However, our most promising lead comes from an alternate reading of the Realley Important Storey that was found in a cave near the village of Qumran. The scrolls are badly damaged, and written in a fucktarded dialect of Arabic that is difficult to translate. However, preliminary scans have revealed that this version actually continues the story after Snigtad enters the kitchen, and one fragment of the text even has 'that dum kid' pulling something from between his teeth and describing it as a 'pice of carp.'"
Buttz and his colleagues hope to have the scrolls translated in their entirety by sometime tomorrow morning, and will publish their findings in the journal Nature in early 2007.
This is completely unrealistic. I have watched the CBS evening news for several decades and Dan Rather was never a terminator on the program. Nor would Dan Rather bother to have such a long and involved news story involving an unrealistic post on such an unimportant forum website. News programs only have 22 minutes to give as much salient news information as possible and have only a moment or two to devote to each segment. I find it highly unlikely that Dan Rather, whether he was a Terminator or not would do such a thing, or be given to do such a thing from his bosses at Viacom. It's just stupid.
anarky wrote:Well, DUUUUUUHHH!! Newsbot isn't Dan Rather. He just looks like him.
This just in: Negative Boy seen at bathhouse with Snigtad Flornbi's jizz in his hair.
Everyone knows your just a filthy lying liar who lies. I have never met Mr. Flornbi nor do I frequncy bathhouses. I bathe in the privacy of my own home. And if anyone saw me bathing with something in my hair, it was Pert Plus. Because it's a shampoo AND a conditioner.
Actually, everyone knows that the proper word in that first sentence should have been "you're" and not "your," which is a second-person possessive pronoun, not a contraction.
Burn, fucktard.
*--For behavior unbecoming anyone, perpetrated in real time over an extended--AH, FUCK IT! MORE MALIBU, BITCHES!!
